he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?