this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.