Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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