If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize