i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
why do cheetos always look like penises
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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