every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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