my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
