we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
