omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
