so explain again why im purple
no
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize