I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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