"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.