now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
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Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
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Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.