proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.