nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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