if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
