i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
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Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
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what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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