NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
