the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I lost the right to judge tonight
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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