you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize