i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
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