He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize