you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
There's always time for handjobs
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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