So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
