i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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