Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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