I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
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He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
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You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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