Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
ttyl tear gas
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize