here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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