it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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