How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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he's gonorrhea incarnate
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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