I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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