If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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