Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
