I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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