The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
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Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize