the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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