On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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