remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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