Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
