Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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