My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize