Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
