I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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