sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize