she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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