if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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