like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves