Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Are we still banned from the library?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants