I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize