I wish I could teleport
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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