You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
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My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.