I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.