Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.