I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on