I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright