the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
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