they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
should my penis look like a turkey
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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